Wednesday, 13 August 2014

七夕。Where Were You When I Needed You?

Where were you when I needed you

我告訴 Marvin 我在等一個人。

但我問自己 ,這真的是原因的全部嗎?

我坦白地問自己,我想要什麼?

我知道,我不需要一個萬人迷男朋友。

我只想,我是最明白我男朋友的人,其他人怎樣看他,I don’t care也最好沒有其他人 care

可是,我們認識了快要三年了,除了他喜歡我這一件事,我對他卻一無所知。好像他怎樣努力讀書,誰是他最 friend 的死黨,要做什麼暑期工才有錢和我去街,還有一切一切看似無聊丶“芝麻緑豆”般的小事,我也想知道。

我只想,我的男朋友有上進心。雖然我不是那種低調的女朋友,我卻不介意被排在學業或事業之後,這樣的人有承擔。

但他竟然告訴我,我可以比他的學業重要,不長進!怕他為了我,担誤了學業,也許是我自私,但我實在承受不起這担子。

hmm …

過了很久很久以後,長大了,人變得細故,才明白,人家把我放在 top of the world,只是想取悅我!而他亦並非如我所想,但我卻白痴地。。。

逃。之。夭。夭!!

世上還找得到一個更蠢的女生麼!?

話說回去我只想,我的男朋友可以陪我做我想做丶可能是無聊不堪的小玩意,或者 vice versa 我陪他。

就如不知何年何月,我和他去打桌球,我玩得一般,但一起玩很開心!愛死了看他專心那樣子。還有那些去了街,卻不知做過什麼的無聊約會。。。

但這兩年多以來,我最想他出現的時候,他在那裡?

如果當時陪我去報預科的是他而不是柚子,我們會否同時感到那份浪漫?如果那時候我們已經在一起,我還有那麼多時間和漫遊去無聊遊盪嗎?

只不過,沒有如果!

我更想,我的男朋友會用行動告訴全世界,包括喜歡他或他曾經喜歡過的人,讓他們知道,我就是他要找的那一位。無需要刻意,但請不要逃避

但認識多時,我一直只活在一個隱形的國度,從來沒有機會走進過他的世界,就連他最好最好的朋友是誰我也不知道!

我不知道,在他的世界裡,到底我真正存在過麼?

為什麼我在這短短的一剎那,可以想到這麼多

不為什麼,只因要考慮給柚子一個“答案”時,和在上次為了那些照片而見 Marvin 之前,已經想過,但到見面時又得意忘形,沒有理由要提起這些嘛。

Don't botter cryin' don't botter crawlin'
It's all over now no use in stallin'
The love I once felt I don't feel anymore for you
This time I'll even open the door for you

You walked out when I was down
Well now I'm well off
And look who's comin' around

You're looking good it's hard to fight it
There's no use explainin' I've already decided
That livin' with you is worse than without ya
I won't spend a lifetime worryin' about you

Things got rough and you disappeared
Now I'm back on my feet
And look who's standing there

You were so young and you were so wild
I knew you were nobody's innocent child
The first day I saw you you really got me
I thought I could change you what good did it do me?

Things got rough and he couldn't wait
Now you're trippin' back
But babe, it's too late

Where were you when I needed you?
Where were you when I wanted you?
Where were you when I needed you?
Where…?